Abuse and Violence

Here are some resources about abuse and violence in Mormonism, Mormon history, and in general.

History Resources

Reading about historical or current abuse may be very triggering for survivors, especially if you are still in the beginning stages of healing. Remember that you don’t need to research these things if doing so is not helpful to you! Scroll down to find resources for people trying to heal from abuse in their own lives.

Resources for Abuse Victims/Survivors

If you are currently experiencing abuse or are dealing with past abuse and need support, here are some helplines and books that may be helpful.

Hotlines for people in the United States:

Books and Other Resources

Here are some books frequently recommended for those who have experienced abuse. I am not a therapist, so these are just recommendations from a fellow survivor who has read some of these books and heard good things about others. Recommended resources are a supplement to but not a substitute for counseling, medical care, or community support.

Many of the books are directed toward women abused by men, but the principles in them are generally applicable to people of any (or no) gender who have experienced various types of abuse.

I’d also encourage you to work with a therapist specializing in treating abuse victims. Experts do not recommend couples or family counseling with your abuser.

LGBTQ Guide to Online Safety, from vpnmentor.com

This practical guide is targeted toward members of the LGBTQ community but has practical safety tips that are helpful for everyone. From validating stories about cyberbullying to tips for controlling your social media experience and safe dating, this guide is full of specific information.

Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, by Lundy Bancroft

This book is targeted toward women being abused by men but can be applicable to anyone regardless of gender. The book deals with the emotional dynamics of abuse and is often recommended to people experiencing emotional and/or verbal abuse.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond, by Patricia Evans

This book helps you identify the signs of verbal abuse, understand how widespread and serious of a problem verbal abuse is, and gain ideas for responding to it. If you live with your abuser, please be very mindful of your safety if you choose to read a book about abuse right now. If you need help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: emotional and verbal abuse in the home are forms of domestic violence.

The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass

This book is directed toward female survivors of child sexual abuse, but many of the steps the book outlines are broadly applicable to any survivor of abuse, particularly child abuse.

Victims No Longer (Second Edition): The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse, by Mike Lew

There can be a lot of stigma for men who have been victimized, but whatever age you were when the abuse happened, remember that it’s not your fault. You aren’t a weak person or less of a man because you had the bad luck to have something terrible happen to you. This book is often recommended for men to help meet their healing needs and address false societal ideas around masculinity.

The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse, by Wendy Maltz

Focused on helping survivors have fulfilling, healthy, and pleasurable sex lives, this book provides stories, validation, and practical advice for people (including men) who struggle with sexual intimacy due to abuse.

Healing from abuse is hard work, but over time, healing can happen. You are great, and you can do this!