Sexuality

Sexuality is an area where most people in the world need help and healing, and that’s particularly true when you grow up in a fundamentalist religion that places a lot of value on “sexual purity.” Most ex-Mormons have some religious trauma around sexuality, whether because their sexual orientation was demonized, because their virginity was equated to their value, or because they were made to feel that having sexual feelings made them unworthy.

Sex therapy with a qualified (and non-creepy) therapist you feel comfortable with can be extremely helpful in improving both your sex life and your relationship with yourself.

This YouTube playlist contains content about sexuality geared toward ex-Mormons.

If you’re interested in historical research on Mormons and sexuality, my Mormon History Resources spreadsheet has a section on Sexuality and Reproduction on the More Women and Feminism tab.

For resources specific to abuse, see the Abuse and Violence page. I will add recommendations for LGBTQ+ people and straight men once I become more aware of which books and other resources are most helpful. Straight men also benefit greatly from learning about women’s sexuality, though, so don’t sleep on that section if you want to sleep with women.

Women’s Sexuality

For information about women’s sexuality, I recommend Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski, as well as the accompanying workbook.

Faithful readers should know that Nagoski does not condemn masturbation or pornography (she has a nuanced take on both), and she does deal directly with sexual hang-ups due to religion. However, she also says that she isn’t affirming or condemning beliefs, she just wants people to be aware of the sexual issues that often arise for people coming from belief systems that emphasize sexual purity and virginity.

She also makes a comment that says something like “even Mormon Mitt Romney knows [that obviously heinous statement is wrong],” and I’d think Romney would probably be a little insulted by that comment.